May 26, 2003 - 2:42 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Things have been very rough for us these last couple of months. In March Dino left the band because he has a baby on the way. This happened right when the lineup seemed to be getting very tight. The baby is due in August.

Once again it seemed like it was just the three of us. Anthony, John,

and Doug, back to the drawing board. Square one.

John had opted to play the bass himself, which seemed like a great idea at the time because he really is a musically apt enough to do so, besides why the hell not? It�s not like we were having the best of luck with bass players anyway so might as well go with the one we know isn�t going anywhere right?

The problem was we left a huge void where the drums are concerned. We could�ve probably found a drummer but we would be hard pressed to find a drummer as musical or as involved in the arranging process as John.

One night at a recent rehearsal our original bassist showed up. Anthony refers to him as the rebellious younger brother. I�ve been calling him mother-fucker for the last few months but only because I rarely deal with my resentments in a manner that is mature. Mike and I were very close a long time ago so I took his departure very hard. Even if we didn�t want to play with him at the time I was pretty angry. As I imagine he was.

You see, this lineup has a long history together and not all of that history is good. However, we�re all guilty of that. Not just one person. Either way just like blood relatives you can�t always choose your family or the people you work with that sometimes sort of become like family. The four of us have always gravitated toward each other through the years. Maybe now we�ll actually value that. We�re all older now and a lot more comfortable in our own skin.

The way I see it, the rest of us kind of needed that time to get our own shit together and understand each other better as well. I can�t say that time was wasted.

I wasn�t at that particular rehearsal when Mike popped in but I heard everyone got along well and I had heard that Mike had nothing but good things to say about the new material. Mike and I exchanged a couple of emails back and forth and had a very pleasant phone conversation. At Tuesday�s rehearsal the three of us sat down and talked about the bass player search. We talked for a good hour on the pros and cons of calling Mike. Some of our concerns were rooted in speculation so we thought it was at least a good idea to have Mike come down and talk about it.

The talk went really well. Mike also explained his side of things back when things weren�t so good. I wasn�t sure if this was going to work out but Mike already had his bass in the car when he drove over. Family�.sheeesh, even Mike knows how predictable it can be.

One of the best moments of the night was Anthony telling Mike that he was now in charge of our sound levels. This was something the two of them would fight about constantly back in day, as the three of us play very loud. If the neighbors can�t hear it, it must just be the stereo. I have a really great mp3.of one of those arguments between Mike and Ant. It is one of the most cherished recordings in my {public-domain} collection. I always said that would make a great bonus track.

We played for an hour and fifteen minutes that Tuesday.

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